


Let’s break the walls between us

by YouTalkLikeADentist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:05:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8476429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouTalkLikeADentist/pseuds/YouTalkLikeADentist
Summary: Harry isn’t exactly unused to voices in his head. With the visions he’s been having since way back before the Quidditch world cup and his scar hurting it shouldn’t really surprise him to hear things. And it’s not like the voice is particularly bad either, it’s not like the basilisk he would hear slithering around Hogwarts whispering ‘Kill!’ but it’s still weird.
He just wishes he knew why the hell the voice was so pissed off with this J K Rowling bint.





	1. Chapter 1

_ ~1~ _

 

It was a muggy day when he first heard her. The air was heavy and stifling but he didn't know if it was just him in his paranoia making a fuss out of his shitty accommodations or if that was how it really was. He was laying out flat in the flowerbed outside Number four, Privet Drive, Surrey. He was trying to hide, sort of. Mostly he was trying to listen in on the news or even if Petunia had some weird gossip that might be relevant. He'd been trying to figure out what was going on, to see if maybe Voldemort was murdering muggles like he expected him to but he didn't have that many sources of information.

 

He _thought_ he could count on his friends. He was wrong. They'd almost been teasing him in their letters, making it obvious that _they_ knew a lot but wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't tell him anything.

 

Words escaped him as he tried to put his frustration into his letters. Their brief utter shite messes of letters were met with equally brief angry replies from him and he just wished he had the satisfaction of knowing that they would read them and feel just a hint of the anger he felt.

 

But he knew his friends too well. Hermione would insist it was for his best, it would take only a disappointed look from Dumbledore or McGonagall, or even Mrs Weasley to convince her about it. She was brave, sure, and she had an innate sense of right and wrong that was incredibly strong but it was just so easily manipulated. Harry himself was ashamed to say he had often used it in the very same way.

 

And Ron, well Ron would do as he was told. He was always eager to break rules but only when someone else did it with him. Without Hermione to take the lead, Ron would never follow.

 

So there he was, hiding outside behind giant hydrangea bushes was all Harry could do to actually learn something about his world. Petunia and Vernon were watching the news as usual and there was something on about some Spanish baggage handlers’ strike.

 

“Give ‘em a lifelong siesta I would,” Vernon growled and Harry heard a snort from somewhere, though he couldn’t quite tell where the sound was coming from.

 

“ _ Bet that Farage bastard would love Vernon-” _ , a sneering voice announced and Harry almost shot upright in surprise. Instead he crawled away to a vantage point and looked around carefully, his eyes trained on the garden adorn him. His eyes widened as a he spotted a patch of flattened grass, a sight he had seen last when he himself had made his way around Hogwarts grounds under his invisibility cloak. There was a loud sound, as if a car backfired and he drew his wand quickly, startled. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary but that was the exact sound Dobby had made when he'd appeared in his room those years ago. Vernon popped his head out the window and luckily Harry spotted him just as he turned to where Harry was standing. He ducked out of view quick as could be. He could hear Vernon’s grumbles and leaned his head back against the wall in silent relief, waiting for his racing heart to calm down.

 

“ _ Fucking Mundungus. I swear I hate him more than Umbridge at times. No, that’s not quite right, Umbridge, Mundungus, Dumbledore and then Voldie. Yeah, that’s about right.” _

 

“What the fuck?” Harry muttered out loud. This woman….she knew Dumbledore and Voldemort. And she was talking straight into his head, how the hell was she doing that? “Anyone there?” He said softly, not sure what he was expecting. The woman had to be close by to hear what Vernon was saying but how was she doing this? Even the grass that was bent from being stood on was now uncurling, there was no one there.

 

How was she talking to him? And why the hell did it seem so loud when Vernon didn’t hear it from just a few feet away?

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

“ _ Whoa, the book is changing, wha-why is it changing?! What the fuck, I swear this wasn’t in it before! Did someone prank me? But how could they do this, it’s like magic!” _

 

Harry frowned. The woman obviously knew magic, she knew about Dumbledore and Voldemort, no muggle knew about them and didn’t know about magic. So why the surprise?

 

What was going on?

 

“ _ I could swear when I read it before Harry got caught by Vernon, what is happening?” _

 

“What do you mean I got caught by Vernon?” Harry couldn’t help but say out loud, head whipping from one place to another looking for the source of the voice. So much for the blood protection.

 

“ _ ...You can hear me?” _

 

“Well...yeah,” Harry caught sight of the neighbour’s cat and stared at it. Maybe it was an animagus that could talk in his mind.

 

“ _ Holy shit! You can hear me?” _

 

“I already said yes.” He scoffed, annoyed.

 

“ _ Harry freaking Potter is hearing me! And the book is shifting and...whoa, this is Rowling’s style but not exactly!” _

 

“What do you mean ‘the book is shifting’? And who is this Rowling?” Harry asked, impatient. What was going on?

 

“ _ Harry, what I’m about to say next is weird and you’re probably not going to believe me.” _

 

He waited, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. He believed in magic, whatever she was going to say couldn't be _that_ crazy.

 

“ _ I am...well, was, reading a book. A book called Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix actually. It’s the fifth in the series and it’s written by a woman called J K Rowling.” _

 

“...What?”

 

“ _ -Only somehow you heard me talking and things changed and I can see it in the book, I can see how it’s changed, holy crap, Harry, I can read our conversation in it!” _

 

“What do you mean changed?”

 

“ _ It’s the Fourth Wall, Harry, the imaginary wall between our worlds, it’s broken!” _

 

How was this his life?!

  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

_~2~_

 

" _This is so exciting! I can't believe I'm talking to Harry freaking Potter!"_

 

"Yes, you've mentioned that." Harry whispered out loud in the silence of his room. He had trudged past a suspicious Petunia and Vernon up the stairs for some semblance of privacy even though he knew he wouldn't have it.

 

Someone was talking to him _in his head_ , someone who was in another world reading all about him and his life.

 

And they were doing that while sounding like Colin Creevey, Merlin help him, he just couldn't believe what his life had come to.

 

" _I'm sorry, but I've grown up with the stories. I mean that literally, my birthday is actually the date the book was first released and my_ _sister_ _would read it out to me all the time! I know what it's like to wait outside stores f_ _o_ _r the next book to come out, this is so fucking exciting!"_

 

Harry squirmed awkwardly. Adulation was something he had never gotten used to.

 

" _I mean, sure, now that I've grown up things are different and I frequently reread the books and think that if I was a parent there is no way I would ever let my child go to Hogwarts. And the very black and white point of view projected by the books makes no sense to me and I really wish Rowling spent some time developing Ron further. Even with you there were inconsistencies, sure, but Voldie's soul piece explains all of that-"_

 

"What do you mean Voldie's soul piece?" Harry asked abruptly, latching on to that bit of information like an octopus. Soul _piece_? As in more than one? Was that how he was still alive?

 

But what did that have to do with his behaviour?

 

" _This is awkward. I've spoiled the story for you, shit."_

 

"They're not stories, they're my life!" Harry growled out.

 

" _Bloody hell, now the books say you 'growled it out', this is fucking tripping me out. I get intonations and shit too, everything's different!"_

 

Harry counted to ten. Then he counted to fifty. Then he counted back from fifty.

 

Finally he felt a bit more calm.

 

"The soul piece you were talking about?"

 

" _Well you're not supposed to find out until the next book, I'm not sure if I should tell you. I mean the fanfics always warn against changing what happens in canon and I'm already fucking things up."_

 

Fanfics? What in the name of Merlin's balls were fanfics?

 

But more importantly why was yet another person keeping secrets from him?

 

"But you've already changed things, haven't you?" Harry said, imagining this was Hermione and he really wanted her to do something. "Like you said the book has changed."

 

" _Listen, I will be the first person to tell you that I want things to change. Like I said there are things in the books I'm unhappy about, but it's not that simple."_ All that mad crazy excitement had bled out of her and he now sounded rational. Of all the people to break the Fourth Wall, it had to be the crazy one with the mood swings of a pregnant woman. _"What if this change is for all copies of the books and not just the one I'm reading? Then what do I refer to to help you out, it's not like I have the books memorised. And even if that's not the case, will the change extend to the rest of your life? Or would you be stuck in some weird limbo because this only affects the timeline in the fifth books?"_

 

"Why does it even matter to you? Isn't it enough that this one year is different?"

 

Although she raised a valid point. But there was a very real chance that all the changes would just end up killing him this year so there would be no other books in the series.

 

Harry's head hurt.

 

" _But it's like an incomplete fanfic, the torture of not kno_ _w_ _ing what will happen, the suspense, it'll kill me!"_

 

"Voldemort might _actually_ kill me!"

 

" _I've read the books I know what happens, you don't get to play this game with me!"_

 

Harry stood up in frustration, unable to take this shit anymore, "Morgana's saggy tits, would you just let me fuck up my own life like I want to?!"

 

The outburst was loud, loud enough for Vernon to shout at him from the living room to keep it down and Harry sat down, deflated.

 

"... _Yeah, you're right, let's set your world on fire."_

 

"Wait, seriously?"

 

" _Well, if things get fucked up, I will mourn you all. A huge part of my childhood will die. But I'm a grown woman now and at least I'll always have the Bartimaeus trilogy."_

 

"...What?"

 

" _I'll help you out, that's all you need to know."_

 

"Thank you," Harry breathed a sigh of relief and pulled his knees up. The panic drained out of him and he began breathing normally for the first time in days. The doorbell rang and he heard a grumbling Petunia get up to get the door. "So, what can you tell me abou-"

 

A scream interrupted him and he leapt off his bed, running down the stairs only to find a pale faced Dudley babbling incoherently and Petunia and Mrs Figg hovering over his cousin. Vernon came crashing out as well making sure to glare at Harry as if he was the cause,for all this only to screw his mouth shut in the presence of Mrs Figg.

 

"Dementors!" Mrs Figg all but shouted, her hands and mouth moving rapidly but making no sense.

 

"What?!" Harry couldn't help the confusion but before the thought that Mrs Figg knew about magic could even settle into his mind, his newly found 'friend' was speaking to him.

 

" _I almost forgot about that. Mrs Figg is a squib, Dumbledore sent her to live there to watch over you, she did a shit job of it, someone from the ministry sent Dementors to suck the soul out of you, it's a big clusterfuck, I'll explain later, right now just get some chocolate and shove it down Dudley's mouth, the effects are worse for Muggles."_

 

He could hear in the background, Mrs Figg, Vernon and Petunia yelling, Petunia explaining to Vernon what Dementors were (and wasn't that a shocker, Petunia willingly talking about something magical) while Dudley told them what had happened, haunted like people who faced Dementors always were. Harry followed the instructions and got Dudley some chocolate and the boy swallowed it quickly. As the slight colour came back to his cousin's face, Vernon eyed him suspiciously while Petunia looked at him with an odd gleam to her eye.

 

And then there was Mrs Figg.

 

"Oh Harry, I'm so glad-"

 

"Shut up," Harry barked and the woman gaped at him in shock, "And explain to me exactly what you were up to and why you know what Dementors are?"

 

The dotty woman swallowed hard as Harry and Vernon for once joined forces, looming over her like those who were angered usually did.

 

"D-Dumbledore, he sent me to-"

 

Her words were drowned as a roar made it past Vernon's mouth, his multiple chins shuddering with the sound and a brief stab of amusement rushed through Harry.

 

He knew his uncle would snap one day but he always figured that he would be the one dying at his hands.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

_~3~_

 

Arabella Figg sat at the table in the kitchen of Number 4, Privet Drive, Surrey under the combined watch of Vernon Dursley and Harry Potter.

 

Harry never liked bullies. But part of him now understood why people said that the bullied become the bullies. Power is intoxicating, especially when you've never had it before.

 

And right now he had power. But he was losing it fast.

 

"I'm not a witch you see and you didn't want anything to do with the other lot so Dumbledore thought it was best if I was the one to-" Figg stuttered her way through an explanation and Harry watched, annoyed, as Vernon slowly deflated the more she made it obvious that she was just a normal muggle.

 

Only she wasn't a muggle, she was a squib. But Harry couldn't exactly point that out now could he? After all, the only reason he knew that was because the voice in his head told him so.

 

" _You should look up interrogation techniques. Seems like it would come in handy especially since no adult is going to tell you anything."_

 

Harry gritted his teeth. He could talk out loud to her, not without being even more of a 'freak' than usual.

 

"-it really was for the best, why I barely know anything about their kind." Figg said and Harry was suddenly very aware of just how close an eye she had kept on him. She knew exactly what to say about magic and how to say it perfectly so they didn't suspect anything, even the words she was using were a lot like the ones Petunia used and with the realisation that she must have known about the cupboard under the stairs Harry's consternation grew.

 

And he couldn't even call her a liar to her face like he wanted to. The feeling of hopelessness took over him, he would always be alone in all this, always-

 

" _What a liar! Why aren't you-? Oh, right, can't exactly say that the voice in your head is telling you that she's lying...Wait, ask about her cats!"_

 

"What about your cats then?" Harry blurted out, hoping there was somewhere he could go with this.

 

And considering Figg's heavy swallow, the darting glances she was throwing him, there was something there he wasn't quite getting. He thought about all her multiple cats, how unnervingly they would stare at him. And image flashed through his mind, Crookshanks with his strange flat face, Mrs Norris who always knew where students were and a grin spread over Harry's face.

 

"What are you talking about, boy?" Vernon growled and as Figg panicked more and more, Harry's grin grew wider.

 

"Well her cats are so very interesting. They remind me a lot of a certain magical animal in my world called kneazles."

 

Vernon looked like he was about to burst, presumable caught between yelling at Harry for using the 'm' word and questioning Figg further.

 

"Squib," came Aunt Petunia's venomous little whisper. Dudley must have been feeling better if she had deemed to leave him and come down to the kitchen "That's what they call people like you don't they. People born to their kind who don't have any _magic_." She spat out gleefully and Figg wilted.

 

That was when the guilt really started flooding Harry. He didn't Mrs Figg before and he certainly didn't like her now. But he remembered how Filch had acted when he thought Harry was making fun of him for being one, he remembered the way Malfoy and the rest would speak about them and he began feeling really bad.

 

"You need to tell Dumbledore about the dementors, Harry, what if they hurt someone else" Figg implored him and the guilt was gone. The gall of the woman to try to guilt trip _him_ into reporting to Dumbledore when she'd been reporting most of his horrid childhood to him, all to shift the attention off her.

 

"Hmm, I don't think so." Harry drawled and Figg closed her eyes with a sigh, recognising that her little ploy hadn't worked. "I'm sure Dumbledore's spy can take care of it herself, can't you?"

 

She hesitated before nodding.

 

"Well then, I think we'd all best go back to bed and Mrs Figg can do her job." Harry said with a joy that he did not feel. He wanted this over with so he could find out more about what Voldemort was up to.

 

"If I see a single one of your blasted cats near my house, they're dead." Vernon threatened and Figg blanched looking to Petunia and Harry for support but finding none. She was frog-marched out of the house and Petunia watched her exit carefully.

 

"Go up to your room Harry, your uncle and I need to talk."

 

* * *

 

" _So gross, hearing Petunia act nice makes me feel icky."_

 

Harry climbed up the stairs quickly and was soon ensconced in his bedroom, still pondering what had just happened. He wasn't sure what surprised him more, that Figg was a spy for Dumbledore or that Petunia actually said his name instead of calling him 'boy' like she usually did.

 

"Tell me everything."

 

" _Oh, I'm not going to do that."_

 

Harry spluttered, "But you said you'd-"

 

" _Listen I'm not going to withhold information but let's face facts, I know the events of the three years. You've just turned fifteen and you're still a kid, I'm not going to dump three years worth of knowledge on you."_

 

"You are incredibly annoying." But it sort of made sense. Harry had never had the opportunity to be a child, sure but that didn't mean he wasn't one. "So what can you tell me?"

 

" _Well here's the thing, in the books what originally happened was that Vernon caught you, you went out to sulk or walk or whatever you call it, Dudley annoyed you and you were just about ready to fuck his face up when dementors arrived. You used the patronus, you're still under age and they tried to expel you-"_

 

"Expel me?!"

 

" _Yes, you haven't been reading the Prophet very thoroughly so you don't know this but essentially the ministry is running a campaign against everyone claiming Voldie is back, mainly you and Dumbledore."_

 

Harry's mouth hung open in disbelief. He had just figured that Voldemort was laying low, not that he was laying low and people were being wilfully oblivious.

 

"They can't do that!"

 

" _Sure they can, the Daily Prophet is the Ministry's bitch and Fudge is Lucius Malfoy's bitch. Do the math."_

 

"But that's wrong!" Even as the words left him Harry cringed.

 

" _And there's that youth and black and white point of view I was complaining about. Rowling paid no attention to the concept of neutrality and there was a distinct preachiness to the series post Goblet of Fire that I disagree with."_

 

Harry tried to calm down but she was still ranting about point of view and psychological underdevelopment and it was getting annoying, "Shut up already, I get it, I'm naive."

 

" _See that's the thing, you aren't."_ Harry's jaw dropped before slamming shut. _"You aren't naive, you've never been allowed to be so. And even if you were, the last four years of nearly dying at Hogwarts and your experiences with Rita Skeeter would have taught you otherwise."_

 

"So the Prophet is lying to everyone?" Harry asked desperate for a change in topic. His home life and personality weren't something he wanted to discuss with someone who had read all about it.

 

" _Here's the deal, Fudge has more interactions with Malfoy than anyone else okay?"_

 

"Okay."

 

" _And Dumbledore is seriously popular so Fudge was supposed to be pretty scared of him trying to take his power and position from him."_

 

"But Dumbledore is the Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump and the headmaster of Hogwarts, why would he want to be minister of Magic?"

 

" _Why does he have three extremely important titles to begin with? Dumbledore has influence on domestic matters, international matters and influencing the minds of future generations. Gotta say, that's a bit creepy."_

 

Harry had never thought of it that way. Maybe because Dumbledore was never doing any grown-up, administrative things. He could barely keep the school safe, let alone the rest of the Wizarding world.

 

"Is that what you hate about the-" Harry paused, swallowing hard before completing his thought even though it hurt to refer to his own life as-, "Books?"

 

" _It's complicated. I mean, I can say whatever I want about plot holes and lack of characterisation and retconning numbers and dates but at the end of the day those problems are real, aren't they? Even in reality and not just in books, you have illogical shit, you have nonsensical bureaucracy, you have people with the emotional depth of a puddle. And my point of view as a reader is much fuller than yours obviously-"_

 

"What do you mean 'obviously'?" He asked, outraged. He may not be that smart but he wasn't an idiot either.

 

" _Like Ron and Hermione, you can obviously tell they have crushes on each other, right? The Yule ball shtick made it obvious. But Ron and Hermione themselves are too close to the situation so they don't realise it."_

 

"Oh," Harry muttered softly feeling stupid for leaping to conclusions, "Carry on."

 

" _Why don't you try it, make profile of the people you know, strengths, weaknesses, influences, connections etc. and do it from a distance. In fact get Sirius' help in this, he'll know about the prior generation too."_

 

"Sirius? He's barely been answering my owls, I doubt he'll help me with this." Harry scoffed.

 

" _Right, so this is where my info comes in. In the original timeline, you used patronus charm, underage magic warning and shit like that. After that members of the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore's shitty vigilante group that just sits on their asses or tries to get useless info, came to take you to their headquarters which is also where Sirius is. The thing is, in the book Fudge uses your magic using to get you a trial. Kangaroo court shit. Dumbles shows up with Figg as witness and you get off the charges but it's a pretty shitty thing to happen. But now that you haven't used magic I don't know if they'll take you away that early. Hmm."_

 

"I thought Dumbledore was Chief Warlock, couldn't he stop it from ever happening?"

 

" _Oh, he doesn't have his titles any more. Fudge discredits him, gets him thrown off his positions calling him senile and shit. And he also fucks you over in the process. Heads up, when you get to Hogwarts most people won't believe you."_

 

"Son of a-" Harry slumped over on his bed mentally exhausted from trying to keep up, "Why are people so stupid?"

 

" _Mob mentality. Also people don't_ _ **want**_ _to believe Voldie's back, he did some proper damage. Realistically speaking, if you look at it from the outsider's perspective it's shady."_

 

"Shady?" It seemed straightforward to him.

 

" _Well it's not like they know about all the times you've fought Voldie except for that first time when you were a baby right?"_

 

Harry thought it over carefully and realised that that was true. His fellow students sort of knew but even those were rumours mostly. So the rest of the public presumably didn't know much either.

 

" _So if someone else is looking at it, there's this famous kid. This kid is somehow a participant in a tournament that he shouldn't be able to get into. He says he didn't want to be in it but they think he's a cheater. Sure, it's dangerous and no normal kids would want to be a part of it but he's not normal as far as they know, he's the Boy-Who-Lived. And there's articles all about him being an attention seeker, breaking school rules and what not. Then this kid disappears in the middle of one challenge and shows up with a dead body. The dead body of a competitor. Now a normal kid, no one will believe he had anything to do with it especially since he's been run ragged-"_

 

Harry's heart sank as he saw where she was going with this.

 

" _But he's not normal, he's supposed to have killed this mad man when he was a_ _ **baby**_ _. And now this boy, that they think is an attention whore, says that this madman is back from the dead. That's hard enough to believe and it's also terrifying because the madman had once led a war. They start off believing it, after all the boy has no reason to lie about his attempted murder, right? But then nothing happens. No war, no attacks, no evil laughter. No one to corroborate his story, no proof, nothing."_

 

"Shit."

 

" _And then their government says the boy is lying. People believe it because the other option is horrible. The other option is that a war monger has come back to life and the people who are supposed to protect them, are lying to them. The other option is that the man who murdered their families, their friends, all in the name of blood, is back. That the war that they remember because it was only fourteen years ago is about to be started all over again._

 

_Would you believe that?"_

 

"I really, really hate my life."

 

" _Ah chill, you have a magic voice speaking in your head to guide you through this shitfest!"_

 

"Fine, what do I do?"

 

" _Right now, nothing. Mainly because nothing is happening. Make those profiles I told you about and...actually start meditation."_

 

"Meditation?"

 

" _Like I said, this year is a shit fest. The meditation will help you keep your calm."_

 

"What about Voldemort? What is he up to? You can't tell me he doesn't have any plans." Harry asked, desperate for information. This was what he had wanted to know, after all, this was why he lurked under windows to hear the news.

 

" _He is waffling at the moment. See he needs information, there's this prophecy about you two and he wants it so he can make the rest of his plans accordingly but it's a bit difficult to get. I would tell you what it is but it has only just occurred to me that that might be a bad idea."_

 

"Why?!" She'd already told him so much, what could be keeping her from revealing more?

 

" _The thing is I forgot about your visions until right now and had an epiphany."_

 

"What epiphany?"

" _Those visions are basically you seeing from Voldie's eyes, right?"_

 

"Right." Harry agreed tentatively, unsure where she was going with this.

 

" _So if you have a connection that lets you see from his eyes...what makes you think it cant work the other way round?"_

 

The other way round? Meaning Voldemort could see through his eyes… Could possibly hear him right now as he talked to an all knowing voice in his head about his future...

 

"Son of a bitch!"

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

_~4~_

 

"Voldemort can see into my head." Harry said, aghast. The man who murdered his parents, tried to kill him almost every year since he was eleven, waged a war on the magical community, could see into Harry's head.

 

" _It's not a certainty you know, it's a possibility. And actually I'm not sure he can see into your head, realistically speaking the connection is one way, because you're the one with the bit of him in you not the other way around. It's just that if he becomes aware of it he might be able to use it, send you fake visions and what not."_

 

The way she said it sent alarms ringing in his head. It sounded like something she _knew,_ not just something she was speculating. "You're still not telling me everything." He said, suspicious about this whole thing and she sighed so loudly it was as if a gust of wind was flowing through him.

 

" _Dude, we just discussed why I shouldn't tell you everything."_

 

Harry sat back, mollified.

 

" _Some things I can tell you though, let me just-"_

 

He could almost hear her thinking, and when he was silent he started hearing more, started hearing the world on her side, hear the sounds of pages turning and strange sounds that sounded like something to do with computers. Harry hadn't ever seen one up close except for Dudley's broken one, their school hadn't gotten them when he was still in Primary and Hogwarts obviously didn't have them.

 

If he closed his eyes and focused on those sounds, he heard a lot others. There was a low hum— perhaps from an air con?—and suddenly the horn of a train blared, breaking his concentration.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

" _Well once we started our communication, my book blanked out completely and began rewriting itself. So, I messaged my friend and her copy is fine so it's an isolated event. I have an ebook version too so I checked that and it's normal too, so I can reference it any time. It's actually easier because I can just input some keywords and find exactly what I want, so I just sort of looked up what was written about Legilimency and Occlumency in the official stuff. I've read so much fanfiction that my grip on the canon verse is a bit loose."_

 

"...What?"

 

" _I'm cross checking shit."_ She said flippantly, _"So, there's this thing called Legilimency. What you might call it is mind reading, which Snape says is bull, too complicated to be called something as simple as 'reading'— man has clearly never tried to read my sister's notes—and that it's actually more nuanced and complicated and there's layers to minds that have to be penetrated, yadda yadda. Dumbledore, Snape and Voldemort are powerful Legilimencers and if you meet their eyes your mind is theirs to invade, with me so far?"_

 

"Umm, Snape, Voldemort and Dumbledore can read minds if you make direct eye contact?"

 

" _Yeah, pretty much. So, the counter to it is Occlumency, shielding the mind. And fanon has multiple versions of this but mostly we see it in this book only with Snape teaching you how to do it. You learn Occlumency and you protect your mind from invaders and also prevents possession or mind control."_

 

"Snape?" Harry was incredulous at the thought of Snape teaching him Occlumency. To be fair though, it was mainly just the thought of Snape teaching anyone anything, the man was a very bad teacher.

 

" _Tip of the iceberg, dude. So in these lessons Snape tells you o clear your mind and before you can even understand the words he uses Legilimency on you to invade your head, often painfully."_

 

"What the fuck?!" How could anyone let Snape do that?

 

" _Here's a quote,_ _ **'Used properly, the power of Occlumency will help shield you from access or influence. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your mind. You will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself! Legilimens!'**_ _. Man, Snape is a piece of work."_

 

Harry's mind felt broken. What was this bullshit? What kind of person taught like that? What kind of person told a person who hated the other to teach them something that was supposed to be so delicate?

 

Because it had to be Dumbledore who planned all this. In another world Harry might have forgiven the old man this, even now a part of mind was telling him that Dumbledore was still the only authority figure to ever be on his side and take him and his worries seriously but that was a small part of him. Figg, Snape, _these_ were the people Dumbledore trusted to look after Harry? Seriously? And somehow he would still expect Harry to ask 'How high?' when told to jump.

 

What a load of crap.

 

"I can't believe this shit."

 

" _Right now, fanon is divided when it comes to viewing the Occlumency lessons positively. Some people maintain that Snape was right to be so aggressive because you were on a tight schedule, some say that he again had to be aggressive to maintain his cover as a double spy and some people say that Rowling hasn't actually explained much on Occlumency so it might just be that this is the only way to teach Occlumency."_

 

"And you? What do you think?" Harry had the feeling that her opinion might be very different.

 

" _Me? I think Snape has never wanted to be a teacher and that's not the kind of person you want teaching young impressionable kids. I've told you before, as a kid I loved the thought of being a Hogwarts student, because MAGIC!, but as an adult no fucking way would my children go anywhere near that institute except if they converted it into a Haunted House._

 

 _Besides that, he has no interest in teaching people_ _**basics** _ _. Even if he isn't a sociopath like I sometimes think he is, he is still an adult. I'm not going to claim that adults are stable and crap like that, but at the very least they aren't going through puberty. There are actual physical reasons, like hormone levels, that make you relatively jittery and unable to 'clear your mind' that easily. Snape teaches everyone the way he would teach himself. But he forgets that not everyone is a nerdy shithead like him. Someone like Hermione would likely do well in these things but not you."_

 

Harry sagged from relief. Someone was on his side, someone who knew things, who was involved but had just enough distance to give a relatively objective answer. Someone he could rely on, at least somewhat.

 

It was more than a bit exhilarating.

 

"So what should I do?"

 

" _Well, if or when the Occlumency lessons start, that's when you'll have some proper idea of what it's like. I could tell you what happens in the book but I can't tell you what it feels like to have your mind invaded so there are limitations to how much I can help you. However, the main problem you have is probably clearing your mind and that's because shit is going down. The meditation thing I said, try that and maybe go over the events of the day before going to sleep? If you rationalise and reason out your daily problems then maybe you won't be thinking of them a week later?"_

 

"I guess that makes sense."

 

" _Oh good, because I have essays and deadlines, go to sleep so I can get some work done. Plus, I want to see if our timelines move at different paces. Goodnight!"_

 

And once again, Harry was all alone.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

_~5~_

 

Harry woke up jittery and excited. For the first time that summer he didn't leave his room, didn't try to sneak out to listen to the news or read the newspapers. Instead, he sat on his bed and waited.

 

And waited.

 

And waited some more.

 

When the grandfather clock cuckoo-ed that it was twelve in the afternoon, Harry resigned himself to the fact that the voice in his head wasn't there.

 

Thus, began the panic. For half an hour, he paced the room, chewing the nail of his thumb raw in worry. Was that it? Would he never hear her again? Was he to make his way through the rest without any help? How could he possibly do this alone? She had said he had the worst year ever ahead of him, said that Voldemort could look into his mind if he tried hard enough, had said the entire Wizarding world was up in arms against him and Dumbledore, how was he to live through this?!

 

Was it even real? Had yesterday happened or was it a dream conjured out of nothing?

 

Shaking and mad, he finally stepped out of the room and found himself staring at a quiet, withdrawn Dudley Dursley, sitting at the kitchen table, a pensive look on his face.

 

Dementors. No, yesterday _had_ happened after all.

 

Harry was bowled over by the relief rushing through him and sat down on the floor then and there, drained of all the adrenaline, the worry rushing through him.

 

She had said, hadn't she, that she wanted to see how the timelines would work. Well, maybe that was all this was. A timeline issue.

 

"T-those things," Dudley stuttered out once Harry picked himself up and dragged himself into the chair across from him. Petunia and Vernon were absent, vaguely he remembered Vernon had a meeting and Petunia a garden party. He would have expected them to still be here but then he recalled that while he had been losing his mind in his room, there had been shouts and yells from the rest of the house, "What were they?"

 

"Dementors." Harry stated, quietly.

 

"I know that but _what_ -?" Dudley trailed off, teeth bared and brows furrowed in an odd expression of terror.

 

He didn't want a name or definition. He wanted an explanation of how something so evil could exist and that was something Harry could not answer.

 

"I don't know if it's different for muggles but in my world, they make everything cold, feed on happy memories and make you relive your worst."

 

"Why were they _here_?"

 

Harry wasn't fond of Dudley. His cousin was a bully plain and simple. A horrible excuse of a human being, a waste of space and air but he still wouldn't wish a Dementor on him.

 

"To get me probably. Trying to warn people that a Dark Lord who last started a war killing hundreds of people isn't taken well, apparently."

 

"Dark Lord?"

 

"He's kind of the head of a terrorist group."

 

Dudley snorted and Harry was a bit glad to see his cousin back, "Why would _you_ know he's back?"

 

"He used my blood to come back to life." Harry stated offhand and was surprised to find that the usual cocktail of emotions that went through him when he remembered that night was considerably lessened. Oh, he was still angry, still scared, still panicked, but the desperation and adrenaline were absent.

 

Maybe he just needed to talk to someone about all this. Barely any letters, certainly no substance to them and not even the vindication of reading the papers and knowing he was right.

 

"C-c-come back to _life_?" Dudley stuttered out, "He was dead?"

 

"Short version of the story: When I was a baby, he tried to kill me. As you can see that did not work out, but what happened was that he was destroyed instead. Unfortunately, he had backup plans and didn't properly die. Over the years, he's tried to come back to life a lot but it wasn't until last year that he succeeded by kidnapping me from school and using my blood in a ritual."

 

Dudley stared at him, his mouth open wide and his eyes all but popping out of his head.

 

"And you're still going back to that school?!"

 

To say that Harry was surprised at the direction this conversation had taken and the fact that Dudley could actually express concern was understating it.

 

"The other option is staying _here_ ," Dudley flushed bright red but didn't bother defending Durzkaban, "Besides, he'd be trying to kill me no matter what. It doesn't do his reputation too much good to be defeated by an underage wizard all the time."

 

"So Cedric-"

 

"Who told you that name?" Harry said quickly, shocked. Was the Voice talking to Dudley as well?

 

"You have nightmares and you-"

 

Ah, Harry was talking in his sleep. "Cedric was an older student, he was there too. He die—no, he was," Harry blinked furiously, "He was killed."

 

It didn't do any good to sugar coat it. Cedric didn't die of old age, didn't just die in some accident. No someone deliberately _murdered_ him so he wouldn't get in the way.

 

Dudley opened and closed his mouth a few times before snapping it shut and turning his eyes to the wood grain of the table. Harry couldn't blame him for that.

 

What could you possibly say to something like that?

 

The sound of the key turning in the door broke them out of their silent stupor and Harry silently made his way up the stairs again. If it was Vernon or Petunia, he didn't want to see them and if it was anyone else, his aunt and uncle wouldn't want _them_ to see him.

 

In the quiet of his room Harry took stock of everything.

 

He was being watched by people on Dumbledore's command, check.

 

This included people other than Figg and had someone named Mundungus, check.

 

Mundungus had fucked up massively, check.

 

Dementors had come to Privet Drive, check.

 

A voice spoke in his head and gave him all sorts of information, check.

 

The voice suggested meditation and calming himself down, check

 

He had no clue how to do any of that, check.

 

First order of the day, get a book or manual on meditation. So Harry turned to that age old refuge he had in Privet Drive, Surrey: the Public library.

 

* * *

 

Six days had passed since that fateful evening Dementors had arrived at Privet drive and Harry was a different person now, or at least he felt like a different person. The books he had found in the library were useful, the ones he had ordered off the Flourish and Blott's catalogue even more useful.

 

In the back pages of the catalogue, in tiny script he had found the book, "Occlumency for Dummies" by an American author, Stanley Crenshaw. After finding it terribly useful in organising his mind and clearing it of thoughts, Harry ordered the rest of the books in the series. They only came in a set and so he was stuck with books for all the school subjects and some he hadn't even heard of but he would have bought it all if only for the potions book.

 

And, unlike the other books he had these were in small paperback almost like pocketbooks so he could even carry one or two in the overlarge pockets of his overlarge jeans. He was almost done with the Potions for Dummies, halfway through the one on transfiguration, and had devoured the one on Defence in one long sitting.

 

Just as he was reading the chapter on 'Viscosity and what it means for your potions', a fluttering of wings growing closer startled him. He looked up to find a large tawny owl holding out its leg with a snooty expression on its face that Hedwig would have wiped off in a second with her usual disdainful stare. A letter was attached to it and Harry took it, rolling his eyes as his expectations that this time, maybe, they would tell him something useful, were dashed to pieces. From the (lack of) weight itself he could tell it probably only held a scrap of parchment.

 

He was right, of course. A little piece of parchment, as small as the margin he scribbled his name in when handing in his essays, read in Dumbledore's handwriting _ **, 'Someone shall pick you up this evening at five pm. Kindly be ready on the curb outside your house then'**_.

 

Harry sighed at the brief message, it was already two in the afternoon, and looked around his room. Six days ago he would have been fine, all his things were already packed since the Dursleys weren't the type of people who would let him have his 'freakish' things out. Now he contemplated what he would have to shift around to fit his new books in his trunk.

 

" _Man, you must really want to punch them out sometimes."_

 

Harry started, all but jumping into the air.

 

"You're back!"

 

" _Yeah, finally finished my essay thank god, how have you been doing? The book tells me it's been...wow, six days? It's only been like thirty six hours here. Weird."_

 

"Maybe it's because of the magic." Harry wondered, out aloud.

 

" _Magic, you say?"_

 

"Well, you're only able to respond when something magical happens? Maybe?"

 

" _We'll see soon enough, you're going to Grimmauld Place number-"_

 

A buzzing filled his ears and Harry looked around curious.

 

"What?"

 

" _Grimmauld place number-"_

 

It happened again. Harry explained this to her and she made an ooh-ing sound.

 

" _The Fidelius must be doing this. Well, it's in London and it's the old Black home. It's Grimmauld Place and the building is the number between 11 and 13."_

 

Harry knew what she was saying, he knew the number twelve but somehow as he tried to think of it in combination with Grimmauld place his mind slipped and he grew confused.

 

" _Never mind, they'll tell you later. It's a shitty house, all dark and dank and Sirius is depressed all the time because his childhood there wasn't exactly roses and sunshine. It's the headquarters for the Order I was telling you about, pretty gnarly."_

 

"So the Order will be there?"

 

" _Yep and their families, so expect all the Weasleys and Hermione too. They'll be all secretive and shit, they'll say it's because you're children and shouldn't have to worry about this shit but mostly it's because they aren't doing anything. In the book you get pretty pissed off because they don't tell you anything but you have me to tell you everything and_ _ **I**_ _know way more than those clowns. Swear to god, they are useless. I cannot bring myself to call them a vigilante group because those groups actually do something. It is an insult to Batman and everything he stands for if I use the same noun for them both."_

 

The Voice in his head belonged to a very strange person.

 

"What's your name?"

 

" _Not going to tell you. Mainly because you may in a book but it's a parallel universe and there is every possibility that in canon verse I might exist."_

 

"You make no sense to me."

 

She cleared her throat and began speaking loftily, _"I am your conscience here to tell you-_

 

"Haha"

 

" _Listen when you get another voice in your head talking to you and you need to differentiate between us, then I'll tell you my name."_

 

"Great." Harry rolled his eyes. "So I found books on Occlumency and-"

 

" _Yeah, read all that it was sort of the intro for the chapter. You know in fanfics you often start doing Runes and Arithmancy out of nowhere and excel at it and it turns you into some super powered genius using wards and what not."_

 

"...I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."

 

He wasn't a complete idiot. He had gone through some of Hermione's books before and while Runes seemed interesting he was really bad at languages, and Arithmancy was just Numerology given a different name. He may be in a magical world but that still seemed a bit like blind superstition to him. Harry didn't really like thinking if he changed his name to Hadrian like Hermione suggested because it had seven letters and thus was more magically significant, would change anything.

 

There was 'Magic' and then there was 'Hocus-Pocus'.

 

Really, the most interesting book he had found in the Magic for Dummies series was the one on 'Ethics and Intent', 'Magical contracts and Binding Rituals' and 'Magical Objects'. There was even one on Gold based economies but it seemed American banks were run by people and not Goblins so he wasn't sure how it would apply to Gringotts.

 

" _Well, most of it was based off the Sowilo rune on your head anyway."_

 

"Yeah, people tried telling me that, too. Hermione said that the modern version of the rune is on my head, doesn't count as an _ancient_ rune so its magic is different."

 

" _You learn something every day. Pack your bags and get ready to go, I wanna tell you the secrets of the house of Black, the ones even Sirius doesn't know. Muahahahaha!"_

 

"Ominous."

 

The voice in his head was really, truly strange.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

_~6~_

 

To Harry's eternal surprise, Moody and others came to pick him up. He was glad to see Lupin...well, sort of. While Sirius had kept up his correspondence with Harry all through the last year, even with the Tournament and being on the run as a dog, Lupin hadn't. Harry hadn't forgotten that, or the fact that it took half the year going by and him hearing his parents murders around Dementors for the werewolf to come out and say that he was a friend of James Potter.

 

The Voice's running commentary in his head was interesting though as she expressed her opinion on everyone.

 

Moody:

 

" _Moody's very typically Pureblood, huh, can't really think outsdie its box. I mena really you could take a cab and it would be less suspicious and Death Eaters would have no clue how to track it. Commercialised private transport is a relative anathema in that world."_

 

The Auror Nymphadora Tonks:

 

" _Ooh Tonks, so many fan theories. They say her very constantly changing her looks is to distance herself from the fact that she looks a lot like Bellatrix Lestrange, her aunt and Death Eater extraordinaire. It might also be to thumb her nose at all the Black family's blood purists because she got the really rare ability as a half-blood while they inbred into insanity and death. Popular pairing choice with you, older woman-younger man combo."_

 

Elphias Doge/Dedalus Diggle:

 

" _I think he's the one who's Dumbledore's bitch. Old friend or something. Or was that the Diggle guy? Minor character I think, probably only really read them in fanfiction rather than canon. I think one of them was a wizard who would spy on you kinda like Figg."_

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt:

 

" _Ooh, BAMF alert. They always put him in as the Minister of Magic in Post-War fics once Voldie and the rest are offed. Probably the only Order member who actually does shit. I think he might be the auror who's in charge of Sirius' case and he plants false info to distract people."_

 

Emmeline Vance:

 

" _Probably died or didn't do much. Don't remember her."_

 

Sturgis Podmore:

 

" _Dunno, I think he does something shady or ...wait, okay so the internet tells me he gets put under Imperius curse and shoved into Azkaban for trying to break into the Department of Mysteries while he was doing the Order's guard duty of the Prophecy place. I don't want to victim blame but seriously Dumbledore should have known better than to put him on guard duty there, it's not like Death Eater's use Unforgivables frugally or something. Hell, last year the Death Eater teaching you DADA used it on everyone just to teach you how to throw it off."_

 

Hestia Jones:

 

" _Is she as hot as fanon makes her out to be? Really, not a single fanfic where she isn't totally banging and they always make her related to some Quidditch player. Dunno if that's true."_

 

They flew on brooms over towns under Disillusionment charms. The rest of them tired easily while Harry had no problems whatsoever. There was no way any of them would last for even an hour under the training regime Oliver had the Gryffindor team run through every week.

 

Eventually, they landed and Kingsley handed him a scrap of paper.

 

" _ **The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London."**_

 

Finally, Harry could think of the number twelve and Grimmauld place together without that weird slipping sensation, as if he'd been confounded. And as the thought grew concrete, a house seemingly emerged from between the two they'd been standing in front of. Moody ushered them in quickly and they began talking in hushed whispers.

 

"I thought this was supposed to be a secure place why are you whispering?" Harry asked and got only grunts and apologetic glances form the rest, Lupin telling him that he would explain later. Luckily for him he had an omniscient voice in his head.

 

" _Velkommen to the House of Black, haunted by the bigoted portrait of Walburga Black who yells and screeches like a crazy person. Possibly because she is, the Black family hasn't produced the most mentally stable people in the world. Bellatrix is Special to say the least and Sirius isn't what someone would call a well adjusted adult either."_

 

They pushed Harry along, up the stairs telling him where to go to find Hermione and Ron but he waited in the hallways outside a bit, in a chatty mood.

 

"I won't be able to talk to you as much now."

 

" _Relax, I don't need you to talk to me for me to talk to you. Plus I get some sense of what you're thinking, the book is written in your point of view after all, there's just a bit of lag sometimes. And don't tell Ron and Hermione, alright?"_

 

"Why not?" He didn't tell them everything of course, but this was something so huge. While Harry didn't think he'd tell them right now, especially since his anger at their withholding information wasn't completely gone, at some point he thought he would.

 

" _Ron is still the same kid who told you Second year that hearing voices even in the Wizarding world is strange. He is also the same person who shut you out for a good chunk of last year while you were in a life threatening tournament. Not a bad person, but maybe not someone to be given such sensitive information._

 

_And Hermione is that girl, the one who reads a psychology book and thinks she understands people. She'll think you're nuts and try to fix you. Or she'll go crying to McGonagall or Dumbledore with it and then be outraged when they do nothing and then try to fix you herself._

 

_If either of them told you that they heard a voice in their head, one that said they weren't exactly real but characters in a book, would you believe them?"_

 

Harry would have liked to think he would.

 

Or, he'd send them to Madame Pomphrey. Yeah, that was just as likely.

 

" _Really though, the main reason is because this year they are the prefects for Gryffindor house."_

 

Harry hadn't realised he wanted to be a prefect until he felt the stab of disappointment at that. Why Ron, and not him? What was Dumbledore playing at? But, just as importantly-, "Why is that a problem?"

 

" _Hermione and Ron combined like that is volatile. Neither of the three of you should even be considered for the job especially since you break more rules than Fred and George do. It should be Neville and Parvati, really. But I digress, Ron and Hermione hit some rocky patches this year, there's a lot of yelling and blaming that goes on later, hormones and shit. It would have been a lot worse if Umbridge wasn't uniting them in their hatred for her. I don't want you telling them things that they end up using as ammunition in a fight and revealing to another Order member."_

 

"Fine." He muttered, still unhappy with it and opened the door to the room he would be staying in.

 

He was almost knocked out under the force of Hermione's hug and as Pigwidgeon fluttered around the room, he realised he couldn't quite distinguish between the little owl's noises and Hemrione's shirekds. Was she always this shrill?

 

A barrage of information hit him as she talked and talked and talked about his feelings, about their shite letters, about the house, about Dementors and it took considerable effort on Ron's part to get her to stop.

 

And then they looked at him expectantly.

 

"I expect you're mad at us." Hermione said softly and Ron nodded.

 

"We wanted to tell you mate but Dumbledore-"

 

"Made you swear not to tell, I got that." It had been part of Hermione's word vomit and his lack of reaction to it caused a tense silence to follow. Harry grinned, smug and sarcastic, "It's fine, I'm not going to be telling you lot anything either. But instead of Dumbledore, it's my conscience telling me not to."

 

Inwardly, Harry sniggered at his choice of words, conscience indeed. They squirmed; Hermione and Ron had only ever seen him being snarky when he was feeling particularly petulant and useless. So usually when a teacher refused to take their Yearly Big Bad Problem seriously or something had tried to kill him and luckily failed.

 

"I'm glad you're alright," Hermione said trying to break the tension, "When Dumbledore found out about the Dementor he got mad. The way he was with Mundungus, it was scary."

 

"Right. Mundungus. Let's just hope the other Order memebrs aren't as shite as him."

 

" _Hate Mundungus. He's a worthless son of a bitch."_

 

Harry remembered then that that was the first thing he'd heard the Voice say to him. That she hated Mundungus.

 

"He's not very good is he?" He asked aloud. It was a question for the Voice but Hermione was the one who answered.

 

"He isn't the best person perhaps, but he's useful."

 

"Knows all the shady people, the Knocturn alley lot ad all that." Ron added.

 

" _Dude that's a bullshit excuse. I've only ever_ _ **watched**_ _cop shows and even I know that if you have a confidential informant in a place where you're collecting sensitive information you set up a meeting point that isn't the main headquarters. The man's a thief; he's weak, morally, magically in every way. Really, the only reason I can see why he isn't a Death Eater, is because he's so weak he can't stomach the things Death Eaters do and that doesn't equate to him automatically being good."_

 

He met the rest of the young Weasleys soon enough. Fred and George popped in, Apparating and telling Harry about Extendable Ears, Ginny coming out of another door and explaining all about Imperturbable Charms on doors to stop eavesdropping and then, the piece de resistance, them telling Harry that Snape of all people was an Order member, one of the most important ones too, as a spy.

 

" _Heads up, while Snape seems like a shithead, everything he does is calculated to a) Pay off the life debt he has from your dad, b) Honour the memory of Lily Potter nee Evans, your mother and his former best friend."_

 

"What?!" Harry's outburst earned the attention of everyone else but they dismissed it as being all about Snape.

 

Which it was but Snape and his Mom? Best friends? How did that happen?

 

" _Ooh, Snape is a half-blood and he lived in the same neighbourhood as your mum. Even before she got her letter, she knew she was a witch because he told her, and Petunia liked to eavesdrop and she found out too. She wanted to go with Lily to Hogwarts and when Dumbledore wrote to tell her that wasn't happening she went crazy with jealousy!"_

 

Every time Harry thought his life couldn't get weirder, couldn't get more dramatic, it happened.

 

Seriously, how? Wasn't he a good person? Couldn't he get a nice calm life in some small village in the country where the houses looked like they were little dollhouses made to scale?

 

" _So many fan theories about it dude, but I'll tell you later, now change topics and...Ask about the other Weasleys, that's what you do in the books, play along."_

 

Right, play along. As if he hadn't just been handed life-ruining information.

 

But he did what she told him and learnt all about the rest. Bill Weasley and his thing with Fleur, Charlie and the Order's plan to get foreign wizards' support. Percy Weasley and his fuckery, cutting off all ties to the Weasleys.

 

He didn't know why he was surprised but he was.

 

The Voice said differently.

 

" _Percy's very serious and he trusts the government. Innocent until proven guilty and all that and he has only ever known you as the troublemaker, he doesn't trust you. In many ways it probably hurts him more, that he isn't taken seriously as a Weasley, instead his parents, his entire family is choosing to take the word of this boy who they've known for a few years and already consider their new son. For someone who feels like an outsider looking in, these things can be damaging. He's still a dick but you get where he's coming from."_

 

Then suddenly Mrs Weasley was coming up the stairs. Harry hadn't been listening to the others at all, it was all stuff that the Voice had already told him so he tuned them out and listened to Her instead.

 

"-have dinner now. Everyone's dying to see you, Harry. And who's left all those dungbombs outside?"

 

"Crookshanks," Ginny lied, very well, in fact. Then again, this was the same person who'd managed to keep the fact that she was possessed by Tom Riddle's soul, a secret. It could just be the influence of Riddle but Harry looked at her suspiciously. She was behaving strangely, no more stuttering around him, no nervousness. Lying without a flinch. Could she be trusted?

 

He'd ask the Voice later.

 

"Kreacher?"

 

"The house-elf who lives here," Ron said, just as the Voice said the same.

 

" _Didn't I already tell you about this? He's the Black family house elf. Super loyal if you're a blood supremacist or Regulus Black. Not otherwise."_

 

Harry walked down the stairs to dinner while the Voice told him that he had to be careful with Kreacher because he, like Dobby, interpreted 'loyalty to Black family' loosely and there were many people related to the Blacks that were more suitable to his bigoted tastes. Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron still argued about SPEW.

 

He got why the Voice didn't want him telling them about her, now. When they got into arguments they didn't understand things like whispering. He ignored the Order members that were streaming out of the door, pausing to look at him in excitement—the bloody berks— before moving out. His resolve lasted right until Tonks tripped over the umbrella stand and made a loud crash.

 

And then, there was screaming. A rabid looking lady in a portrait, foaming at the mouth, yelling about Blood Purity and more.

 

" _That's Sirius' mom."_ Harry watched in open mouthed awe and disgust as Sirius and Lupin struggled shut the curtains on the portrait. _"The words, 'That bitch cray' come to mind."_ She said with glee.

 

"Hello, Harry," Sirius said, panting from the effort. "I see you've met my mother."

 

"If my Aunt wasn't a muggle, I'm pretty sure they'd get along like a house on fire." Harry observed and Sirius' barking laughter filled the hallway. "She says 'mudbloods' in the exact the same way Petunia says 'freak'."

 

Sirius flung his arm around Harry with a mad grin. "Missed you, Harry." He said and Harry rubbed his nose, pleased.

 

" _You and Sirius have so much in common, no wonder you went nuts when he died."_

 

"WHAT?!"

 

" _Fuck, probably shouldn't have told you that yet."_

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

_Sirius dies._

 

Harry whimpered at the thought of it. He hadn't known his godfather for long but the thought of losing him hurt like nothing ever had before. That rushing, panicking feeling when Cedric had been killed in front of him came back to him, those moments of first feeling the gillyweed working, like his lungs weren't there anymore, gasping for breath and he was bent over with the feel of it.

 

"Back off, give him some space." Sirius bellowed and almost instantaneously, he felt the breath rush back.

 

Right. Sirius wasn't dead yet. And, he could do something about it now, stop it from ever happening.

 

"I need some air," Harry announced and stepped as far away from them as he could. "You guys go ahead I need a moment to myself."

 

" _No don't do that. I know you want to talk to me but if you make a fuss, they'll try to watch you from a distance and remember Fred and George have those Extendable ears of theirs. Go along with it, talk to me once there's some calm and you can be a bit surer that no one's listening."_

 

Harry gritted his teeth but went along with it. He trudged through dinner even with everyone treating him as if he was made of glass. He went through the after-dinner 'party' while Sirius tried to break the heavy mood by goading him into asking about the order. He sticks it through the ridiculous 'briefing' he gets where they tell him in more complicated words what the Voice had already told him, they were doing nothing but waiting and preparing to stall things.

 

They still continued watching him though, even as they get ready for bed. Harry snaps at Hermione for being too much to handle, too concerned, too smothering, too shrill and eventually silence descends upon the house and he waits until Ron's snores fill the room to begin grilling the Voice as best he could.

 

"Sirius dies?" He asked.

 

" _First off, calm the fuck down."_

 

"You just told me my godfather died!"

 

" _Yes, and that was a mistake because if you'll remember I also said that Voldemort could peek into your head and since that was part of the cause behind it, I shouldn't have told you that until we knew more about that link!"_

 

She was hissing at him so much, he wondered if she was talking in parseltongue.

 

" _And secondly, yes he dies."_ It takes everything in him to keep from breaking down but before he can grab a hold of himself she steamrolls on in a cold and clipped tone. _"And guess what, a lot of other people do too. Because no matter what way you look at it, Voldemort is back and your world is on the precipice of war."_

 

Right, Harry had forgotten that. No, that wasn't right, he hadn't forgotten.

 

 

But _war_ , that was a big thing, way bigger than anything he had thought of. He had seen his confrontations with Voldemort as just that, confrontations, little fights.

 

" _Remember your third year, with Sirius on the loose, Dementors everywhere, not being allowed to go live a normal student life, finding out all kinds of secrets about your parents' murders? This year is going to be like that only a hundred times worse. Well, if things stay on track that is."_

 

"Why wouldn't they?"

 

" _Well, the Dementor didn't almost kiss you, you didn't have to use your wand for the Patronus charm and so you didn't have your trial."_

 

"Does that really change much?"

 

" _Politically it could have a repercussion. In the books, you have your trial, you're cleared of all charges and then Fudge's right hand woman in essence takes control of Hogwarts. Without the trial and what not, it's easy to think that Fudge would never fully realise the limitations of his power. Right now he's managed to get Albus thrown out of Wizengamot, his ICW chair taken and slandered you via the Daily Prophet, Fudge's on a high. The trial in the books though, in many ways demonstrated to Fudge that he_ _ **did**_ _have weaknesses, and it was part of the reason why he became so much more active. He tried to get more control over Hogwarts, put a closer eye on you and Dumbledore mainly because you were still active players despite losing considerable power._

 

_On the other hand, he is still very much Lucius' lackey and while Fudge may be an idiot, Lucius isn't. Under Malfoy's advice he might just do that anyway. It's a waiting game, honestly."_

 

His usual fights with Voldemort were easier. Sure, he almost died a lot but at least he didn't have to think about others being involved in it.

 

"So who kills Sirius?"

 

" _Might as well tell you anyway, honestly. I'm still worried about Voldie seeing all this though so next time you see Snape, look him right in the eye and see how he reacts. Bellatrix Lestrange kills Sirius although that's not really fair to say. It's more like Bellatrix cursed him while he was off guard, I think laughing at something and then Sirius fell and...died."_

 

"Bellatrix Lestrange? Isn't she-"

 

" _Sirius' cousin who's in Azkaban, yes. At some point Voldemort breaks his bitches out of prison. Right now, you need to chill, spend some time with your godfather."_

 

"You just told me he dies, now you're telling me to spend some time with him, are you lying?"

 

" _No, you little shithead, but you aren't in Hogwarts yet and can't do magic. Besides, have you met Sirius? Man's going fucking crazy in this house, he needs the help or else he's going to die anyway, it just won't be in a way I can predict. Honestly, you give people a hand and they take the whole arm. Fuck off, I'm not talking to you until you get to Hogwarts."_

 

* * *

 

Harry didn't think she was serious.

 

But after the second day of silence, he finally got off his ass and accepted it. No more advice until he was in Hogwarts. Only bonding with Sirius and cleaning the house.

 

And dealing with the weird, bigoted house-elf.

 

Which brought to mind his absolute opposite Dobby. Between that and Hermione S.P.E.W.-ing all over the place Harry had some questions for his godfather.

 

"How do you get house elves anyway?" Harry asked Sirius. They were in the attic clearing away all the many dark objects. "Are there some classified ads for house elves in the Daily Prophet or what?"

 

Sirius stared at him for a bit before bursting into laughter. "Good one, Harry. House elves are usually bonded to families from the moment they're born. Between that and the undying loyalty it's pretty rare to find a free house elf. They're usually willed away to whoever inherits the property."

 

"So I guess you can't get any other house elf?"

 

"Isn't the one enough?" Sirius whined.

 

"I'm just saying that maybe another house elf might be a good influence on Kreacher."

 

"Maybe," Sirius shrugged, "Again, I don't really know where I would get another house elf."

 

"Ask Dumbledore. There is this house elf at Hogwarts, Dobby, he's a free elf and you'd have to pay him a salary of course but he's a good guy, sneaky as hell. He was the Malfoy house elf but he found a way to warn me when the Chamber of Secrets was going to be opened."

 

Sirius dropped the artefact in his hand, a strange book with an eyeball on it that followed their movements and even rolled itself at certain parts of their conversations (they were sure it was part of a set and the other book had ears on it), back into the pile they were sorting.

 

"Chamber of Secrets?"

 

"Yeah, back in second year with the basilisk and all."

 

"Basilisk?" Sirius was smiling weirdly, his right eye twitching, and Harry was quite confused. "I never heard about that story." He said, talking around the grin that was stretched out over his face. "Please, tell me more."

 

So, Harry did.

 

What exactly happened between Sirius and Dumbledore that evening, no one quite knew. Sirius was _pissed off_ and he had pushed the Order out of the house, stunning them with his vehemence, Molly Weasley in tears over being yelled at for acting as if it were 'her little Burrow where Animagus rats are allowed to sleep with adolescent boys because the only ward master in the family couldn't bear the sight of her'. Mrs Weasley left with the other Order members, telling the children she was going to get their things for Hogwarts . All the younger Weasleys were up in arms about it until their father pulled them into another room and gave them a talking to. About what, that Harry didn't know. Hermione and Harry meanwhile dithered in the library, awkward and unsure of what to do. IT was a tense few hours for them, the Imperturbable charms not being able to block out the fact that Sirius was raging mad at Dumbledore.

 

Eventually they all emerged, Dumbledore looking defeated and still not meeting Harry's eyes while Sirius introduced Kreacher to Dobby, the new head house elf of the Black family and thus Kreacher's direct superior.

 

Grimmauld Place cleaned up much faster after that and while fights between Kreacher and Dobby, the former of whom was beginning to remind Harry uncomfortably of Winky, but with a bottle of cooking sherry instead of butterbeer, were becoming commonplace, the lack of Walburga Black's portrait which had been taken down four seconds after Dobby was hired for the fault of insulting the great Harry Potter sir, made it a much more cheery place, even with the frequent fisticuffs.

 

Eventually Harry stopped thinking of the Voice and when she would be back, stopped counting down the days till he was in Hogwarts again.

 

The proverb about the watched pot proved true and soon enough, before he knew it he was on the train.

 

* * *

 

The Voice was cheery this time around. As Harry hauled his luggage looking for an empty compartment she was singing, off key and with weird clicking noises in between.

 

" _On the road again, just can't wait to be on the roooad again, dududududdu on the road again-"_

 

"You don't know any other part of the song do you?" He whispered to himself while Neville and Ginny walked ahead of him, arguing about something or the other.

 

" _Nope. Heard it in a movie once."_

 

"Someone's happy."

 

" _You're going to meet Luna, who is so, so,_ _ **so**_ _awesome. She is the coolest, seriously everyone loves her or is at the very least ambivalent about her. All the other characters have bashers, even you, but Luna has no haters at all._ _ **That**_ _is how cool she is, she is so awesome! She is the most organic character Rowling has ever written."_

 

Harry frowned even as he followed Ginny and Neville into a compartment.

 

Why did he have bashers, he was the main character! He was the one facing Voldemort, basilisks, dragons and werewolves, why was he hated?

 

And then, he walked into the compartment and saw her. The cork necklace, the wand behind her ear, the big unblinking eyes, the upside down magazine.

 

She talked to Ginny for a bit before turning to him. " _You're_ Harry Potter." She said in an informative tone, as if she was telling him this so he would know what his name was and he understood then.

 

It would be quite difficult to hate someone like her. He had only just met her and already he was too confused to feel anything as specific as dislike.

 

"I could have really used that information before I started Primary." Harry noted.

 

"Why?"

 

"Didn't really know my name before that." Harry said easily while Ginny snorted and Neville looked at him questioningly. "My Aunt and Uncle didn't really like to use my name."

 

"What embarrassing nickname did they give you?" Ginny mocked in a sing song voice.

 

She was still pissed off at Harry for refusing to tell Sirius to apologise to her mother. But like he'd told her back then, Sirius was his godfather not his son and he had no intention of telling a grown man, whose house he was a guest in, what he should and should not do.

 

"Freak." Harry answered in a matter of fact tone and Neville giggled unsure of what to do or say while Ginny turned a bright red to match her hair. "Well that, and 'boy'."

 

Awkward silence.

 

Neville attempted to break it by showing off his new plant and all the cool things it did. Which apparently included shooting out a weird stinking pus.

 

A 'Scourgify' and awkward encounter with Cedric's ex later, Harry turned to Luna.

 

The Voice knew a lot about her and how cool she was. Clearly, she was a big part of the 'books' then.

 

"So, Luna, which house are you in?"

 

"Ravenclaw," Ginny answered and Luna smiled.

 

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure." She sang.

 

"That's nice. So, do you like Ravenclaw?"

 

Finally she blinked, but she did it so much that Harry scrambled to look for a tissue or a handkerchief, certain that she was about to cry. The fear was compounded by the Voice.

 

" _She's bullied pretty badly by them actually. They steal her things and call her Loony all the time and push her around on occasion. It's pretty shitty."_

 

Finally, Harry managed to find a handkerchief and pushed it at her. She stopped blinking and looked at him, befuddled.

 

"You looked like you needed it." He said gently.

 

She took it from him gingerly and instead of wiping her eyes with it, she plopped it on her head like a weird flat hat. Beside him, Ginny smothered giggles even as Luna leaned in close to him. She was blinking so little now that Harry was sure that he had found the one person who could defeat Hedwig in a staring contest.

 

"Don't worry," She said softly, "Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it isn't real."

 

And Harry lost his breath. Did she know about the Voice? How could she though, no one else did. Was she like Trelawney, a seer or something?

 

"Umm, thanks but I already knew that."

 

"Good. You shouldn't doubt yourself too much Harry Potter, you're just as sane as I am." Luna nodded and went back to her magazine, still reading it upside down.

 

" _She is so cool, I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RIGHT NOW!"_

 

Harry turned to Neville, "Neville, on a scale of one to ten, how insane do you think I am?"

 

"Four." Neville answered so confidently that Harry was sure this was something he had contemplated before.

 

Four.

 

Could be worse. He hadn't expected to be below five actually.

 

Right, that decided it. He would be telling Neville about the voice in his head.

 

Hopefully, it wouldn't go above seven after that.

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

_~8~_

 

 _“_ _Yeah why not, Neville’s cool.”_ Was all the reaction he got from the Voice as he thought pointedly about sharing this with Neville and Harry inhaled sharply. Neville looked at him weirdly, Luna with a knowing glint in her eyes (how did she do that?!) and Harry was consumed with that too frequent urge to break something as things spiralled out of his control, beyond all his understanding.

 

Ron and Hermione entered the carriage soon enough, squabbling over something, Harry didn’t quite know what. They took one look at Harry’s face and grew suddenly silent. Harry could guess at what they were seeing, he didn’t get angry that often, not with this cold fury and those two were the only ones who’d ever really seen it. Even as that thought raced across his head he stood up and excused himself through gritted teeth making his way out to the washroom.

 

“I don’t get it,” Harry said furiously. He was holding on tight to the countertops of the basin as the train swayed soothingly all around him, awkwardly avoiding his reflection which was intent on telling him how to do his hair, “Why are you okay with me telling Neville but not Hermione and Ron?”

 

Honestly, it was ridiculous! Maybe the books—Merlin, he hated how he was beginning to sound liek the Voice—didn’t do right by Ron and Hermione but they were his best friends! He knew them, why couldn’t he tell them but it was fine to tell Neville?

 

_“Because it isn’t fair. Neville was the other child of the prophecy, the one who could have been the Boy-Who-Lived. He isn’t it but that doesn’t change the fact that the prophecy was a direct reason for his misery. He lives with his grandmother you know, you’re not the only one who suffered losses. But see Neville, he never finds out. The attack on him and his parents will always be senseless to him because he doesn’t know the reason for it and that’s not **fair**.”_

 

Harry never thought of it that way. To be honest he didn’t give his Gryffindor housemates too much attention he knew them superficially, too caught up in his usual yearly adventures.

 

He hadn’t ever thought about Neville or why he lived with his grandmother. Neville was just...Neville. Clumsy, great with plants, bad at potions, shy and just...sort of there.

 

Then again, it was the same for all the others too. Christ, he wasn’t sure he even knew Hermione’s parents’ names, only that they were dentists. Never thought to ask, never really cared much. He couldn’t even tell you with utter surety who all the kids were in his class. Hell, he didn’t even know the names of players on the other Quidditch teams and he usually met them plenty of times over the years in matches.

 

He didn’t realise that he’d been saying this out loud until she talked to him.

 

_“Listen I’m all about quality over quantity when it comes to friends, there’s no doubt in my mind that if it wasn’t for all the shit that happens with Voldie every year you’d be a lot more aware and a lot more popular too. But do you understand how weird it is that you know so little about your own world? Hogwarts is the only Wizarding school in Britain, as far as my information goes. Not only that, the Wizarding community in general, is fairly small, a couple thousand, maybe in tens of thousands which is a paltry number. I live in a city with millions of people but it  is so easy to stumble upon people I know but haven’t met in ages just because of being in the same age group, the same hangouts, and that makes it a bit strange how isolated you are.”_

 

“So what do I do?”

 

_“Chill out, first of all. Admittedly you’re going through puberty so you’ll be emo a lot but seriously, let yourself have some time to yourself. Let’s not forget that Voldemort coming back isn’t just a personal thing because he killed your parents. He started an ideological war that he fights through terrorism, that isn’t something fifteen year olds are equipped to deal with. Even on the non-magical side, child soldiers may exist but then they get trained. If that Order isn’t teaching you how to fight you cannot be expected to do battle on their behalf, that’s just common sense._

 

_So just go back to your friends. Talk about the war like you would any other war, like a political situation that you get aggravated over, that makes you angry and sad but cannot really control. Allow yourself some space and be Harry Potter, not just the Boy-Who-Lived.”_

 

“What about Voldemort?”

 

_“Like I said back when we first talked, if you want to fight then first figure out resources. The Wizarding community is small, get information, start making connections between people and the sides they might be on. A war isn’t a tiny thing limited to inner circle members, it is much more complex. Learn to understand this complexity before rushing into things.”_

 

“And tell Neville about it?” Harry couldn’t help but snark and he could almost hear the shrug in her voice.

 

_“Hey, you’re insane, I’m too detached from the situation, might do you some good to have someone grounding you. Tell Neville if you want to. Even if he thought you were out of your mind, let’s face it, no one’s going to believe him.”_

 

And that was that. For the rest of the trip Harry felt a bit more human, as if being scrubbed raw like that had actually helped. Perhaps it did. For a moment, he thought the Voice might even be sane.

 

And then they were passing the Shrieking Shack in the carriages and the weird bit of the commentary started up again.

 

_“Does it ever make you uncomfortable how many things in the Wizarding World have names that sound like whorehouses?”_

 

Harry choked on his breath and Neville thumped it out of him.

 

“You alright mate?”

 

“Yeah, fine, just...swallowed a fly.” Neville gave him an odd look.

 

_“I’m just saying, Moaning Myrtle, Shrieking Shack, Leaky Cauldron, Knight bus. Well okay, the last one isn’t too bad but still. Actually even the Come and Go room is like that. Plus you wave around wands and ride broomsticks, both being very phallic symbol, even the pointy hats you wear.”_

 

Oh, god, why? Now when he was actually warming up to her? Why was the voice doing this to him, how could ever look at anything and not see it now?

 

“So, what are the chances of me learning wandless magic?”

 

“Wandless magic?!” Hermione repeated, shooting him a strange look, Ginny snorted, Luna smiled unfazed while Neville and Ron gaped.

 

_“Makes the ‘swish and flick’ seem a lot less innocuous now doesn’t it? And the sparks the wands let out when they’re matched to a wizard like premature ejac-“_

 

Everyone watched as Harry began banging his head against the walls of the carriage over and over again.

 

Ah well, the Prophet was making him seem mad anyways, might as well steer into the skid.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

_~9~_

 

The Voice was quiet for the most part as Harry returned to school. There were a few interjections here and there but nothing substantial. At least not until they arrived at the Great Hall and scanned the staff table. As with every year there was a new face there, that of a chubby, vaguely amphibious and dumpy looking woman dressed like a toddler obsessed with pink. Harry had no idea who she was even though Ron was telling Hermione that the woman worked at the ministry for Fudge and therefore was not to be trusted. While the two fought over that, the Voice came back with a hissing laugh that reminded Harry of parseltongue.

 

_"Ah, my nemesis. The toad princess that no one will ever, ever kiss just to turn her back to a human form because princes are never as desperate as princesses. The inquisitor with the always sore throat. The one who makes Margaret Thatcher look like a freaking angel. The one the wicked witch of the west would disown._

 

_Dolores fucking Umbridge."_

 

So that was the infamous woman she cursed out so often. "She doesn't look like much," Harry said out loud and got answers inside and outside his head.

 

Ron scoffed, "She's the one trying to cut down on werewolf rights and goblin rights and all that."

 

And Hermione who had been lecturing Ron on not judging a person by their (hideous) appearance, stopped short, turning a scrutinising look at the woman.

 

_"She tortures you and a lot of other people using a magical quill that draws your blood out to use as ink in her detentions, questions you under veritaserum which is a highly controlled substance, usurps Dumbledore as headmaster and she also crucios Hedwig to get into one of your letters."_

 

As much as Harry is ashamed to admit it, it is the last part that solidifies the bint as evil in his mind,.

 

"That  _bitch_." He said vehemently and Ron nodded even as Hermione stared with more than a little bit of anger.

 

They probably thought he was thinking of Remus.

 

Harry really  _should_  have been thinking of Remus.

 

Having an omnipotent voice in his head was messing up his priorities.

 

_"And she gets even worse later on. Harry, I firmly believe in people learning from experiences. Umbridge is the experience that really cements your decision to not to go on blindly believing in authority in the magical world. There is probably no other instance where you really recognise how systematically the ministry wields its control over its subjects as that. Part of me wants to let you live through it because witnessing the injustice that is that bitch, will be a formative experience not only for you but also for the school. This is the moment when people learn to think critically and it is really vital because there are many douchebags in school that only recognise their own cruelty when they see it coming from her._

 

_But I also really, really hate that bitch and want her to suffer. Truly, honestly so. My blood is boiling with excitement at the thought of it. My hands are literally trembling with the adrenaline. There are few people I hate as much as her and I don't know what to do."_

 

Harry was flabbergasted. The Voice was asking him what should be done.

 

Hell,  _someone_  in the world was asking him what to do. Not telling, not bossing around, straight up  _asking_.

 

What did it mean though, that the entire school learnt what politics was, that they learnt critical thinking? What torture did Umbridge put them through to do that?

 

Did Harry want it? Part of him certainly did, the bit that remembered the entire school whispering that he had gone dark, that he was Slytherin's heir all the way back in second year. He'd like to see Justin Finch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan learn what 'dark' truly meant.

 

But how would he know without knowing what she did?

 

_"She made school hell, made DADA hell, didn't let people do magic in her classes, eventually got appointed High Inquisitor and begna dropping by on classes to evaluate the teachers and did so in her shitty biased way, passed decrees banning all sorts of shit, confiscated your broom and shut down the Gryffindor Quidditch team for a solid time at least and used this dark artifact, a Blood Quill in her detentions where you had to write lines with it, mostly you writing 'I will not tell lies' and the ink was your blood, it left a scar on your hand of the words._

 

_She also became headmistress by kicking Dumbledore out and made her own special squad of Slytherins who would snitch on everything and everyone, even when they hadn't done anything. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this but she was the one who sent the dementors to Surrey to Kiss you."_

 

"We need to get rid of her." Harry decided in that very second.

 

_"Awesome, I'll look up revenge fanfics for ideas."_  The Voice said and Hermione and Ron looked at him, surprised.

 

"We can't just do that! She's a teacher a-and maybe she's not all that bad?" Hermione said and even Ron looked tentative.

 

Harry didn't give a fuck.

 

" _You_  can't do that, it's true."

 

"Harry!"

 

"Don't you prefects have duties to attend to?" Harry asked the Hermione and Ron started.

 

"We're supposed to show the first years where to go!" Hermione all but yelled, and she and Ron ran off, fighting the entire time. They found the bunch of little first years, some of whom gasped as they looked at Harry, scared. Probably purebloods who'd read all about him in the Daily Prophet, or whose parents had been telling them to keep away from Harry, not unlike the adults in Privet Drive.

 

It might have depressed him another time but the Voice had changed that. Changed him.

 

He felt more than a bit sorry for them now. They were all just so out of the loop, knowing nothing of what he'd gone through, the dark wizards Hogwarts had been host to. He left Hermione and Ron to their jobs, pausing to asking them the password to the dorm before going up to unpack. Neville had stayed back to talk to Professor Sprout about something and Seamus and Dean had gone ahead of them.

 

_"_ _Heads up, Seamus has been influenced by his mum to totes think you're making Voldemort and all that stuff up, don't lose your temper."_  The Voice said in a sing song tone and Harry groaned but controlled himself. Deep breath in, deep breath out, just like the book on occlumency had said and up the stairs to their dorm he went.

 

He was just kind of really glad to be back at Hogwarts though and so he was humming as he walked in. Without paying any mind to Dean and Seamus, he began unpacking.

 

Harry usually kept his side uncluttered and bare. Apart from his broom handling kit he didn't have much to keep handy anyway, but one of the books he'd read had said that keeping a visual representation of goals helped to focus on them and that having a living space that was calming and cheery helped keep motivation up.

 

He didn't put up posters or photographs the way Dean and Seamus did. Instead he set up a corkboard with all the notes he'd made over summer stuck to them along with their schedule. He put up the checklist he'd made of all the things he wanted to accomplish while in school that year, up next to it.

 

"Hey, Harry," Dean finally said, carefully avoiding looking at him while Seamus stared at him creepily. "Good holiday?"

 

"Wasn't that bad. Got some studying done." A thought occurred to Harry and he turned to Dean, excited, "You live in the muggle world too right? Do you know if there's any way to make a walkman work in Hogwarts?"

 

"Nah, mate." Dean said with a grin. "Maybe ask Hermione?"

 

Harry opened his mouth to answer when Neville burst into the room, huffing and puffing. "Ask Hermione what?" Neville asked between gasps.

 

"How to make a walkman work in Hogwarts." At Neville's questioning look, Harry replied. "It's a muggle device that plays music. I got used to running with it."

 

For the last week Harry was there, Dudley had made some effort into talking to him, especially since the dementor attack and they had taken to running in the morning to get out of the house and talk about magic near the overpass. For all that Dudley was curious, Vernon and Petunia weren't as gung ho about magic as him.

 

"Sounds like you had a good summer." Neville beamed.

 

"Better than Seamus's anyway," Dean chuckled.

 

"Why, what happened, Seamus," Neville asked and Seamus turned away suddenly from where he was staring at Harry to pretend to fix his posters.

 

"Me mam didn't want me to come back." He mumbled.

 

The Voice started talking at the same time as Neville asked Seamus why,  _"Seriously dude, don't lose your temper, originally you wind up insulting his mum which is really not the best way to go about convincing him otherwise."_

 

Harry rolled his eyes, wondering why everyone expected him to fly off the handle. Well, alright, he understood why everyone else did, but the Voice really should have known better, She knew how the Occlumency was calming him down and how her telling him things was keeping him from going completely mad.

 

Then again, he remembered the whole shouty conversation he'd had with her on the train. So maybe she wasn't completely wrong in telling him to chill out.

 

"Well," Seamus said with nervous looks at Harry, "It's not just you...It's Dumbledore too…"

 

"Weird though." Harry said, "I mean I'd understand her wanting you back home second year with the basilisk and people getting petrified, or even third year with the dementors and stuff. Or even last year with fake-Moody throwing around Unforgivables and turning students into ferrets. Or first year with the troll running about. Huh. But I guess she believes the Daily Prophet. I mean sure Malfoy's dad is good friends with the publisher and the minister but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything." Harry patted Seamus's back patronisingly even as the boy went pale.

 

Once he was on his bed with the curtains and silencing spells up, Harry sniggered. This whole knowing more than everyone else thing was kind of fun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Long time no see. I have every intention to update all my stories though it'll just take time.


End file.
